Do you remember when you purchased your first home? Can you imagine if you’d bought it sight unseen? You didn’t, of course. You worked with a real estate agent who took you on a tour of it. You saw for yourself whether the kitchen was small or spacious. You opened closets and cabinets to see whether they would accommodate your things. You analyzed the floorplan to determine whether it would work for your family, looked at the yard to see if you could imagine your kids playing in it. You gazed out windows to check out the view, and drove around the neighborhood to see whether it felt welcoming, clean and safe. Like a new outfit before a special occasion, you tried it on to make sure it would fit.

But that’s not all you did. Because not everything is visible to the naked eye, you also asked questions. Lots and lots of questions. You might have asked when the home was built, for instance, or if it had ever flooded. You might have inquired about the condition of the roof and the age of the furnace. And you probably wanted to know about the quality of the local schools, and about the cost of property taxes. In short: You did your due diligence.

Shouldn’t you treat your future home
with the same scrutiny that you did
your first home?

Now, you’ve reached a stage in life where you’re ready for a new kind of home in which to live a new kind of life. The kind of home and life that only a senior living community can provide. But shouldn’t you treat your future home with the same scrutiny that you did your first home?

The answer is yes, of course. And yet, you might not know where to start. After all, a different kind of home demands a different set of questions. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Whether you’re a senior who’s ready for a new chapter or a relative who’s helping a loved one turn the page, this guide should help you find the perfect match. Your tour guide will help you navigate the community; the following queries will help you navigate your decision.

If your idea of senior living is a nursing home with cloistered residents who never go outside, then you need to rethink your notion of what senior living is, and what a senior living community can be. Modern senior housing isn’t institutional; it’s residential. In fact, senior living communities often look like college campuses, or suburban subdivisions. Sometimes, they even resemble small cities unto themselves.

Which is to say: When you reside in a modern-day retirement community, you don’t live away from the world; rather, you live in it. Before you can judge a community’s character, you should make sure it’s in an area that suits you, near the people, services and amenities that you want to be close to.

Consider the following questions to help size up the community’s location:

Remember: You’re not looking for a hotel where you’ll spend a few nights. You’re looking for a home where you’ll spend the rest of your life. It’s therefore important to look at senior living communities through the lens of everyday life. For example, you need to look at the grounds as if you were going to walk across them every morning, and the residences—which might include apartments, condominiums or even detached homes—as if you were going to lay your head in one of them every night. Because if the community is lucky enough to have you, you just might.

Be sure to keep your future self in mind when you’re looking at residences—your home should remain safe and comfortable as you age—and don’t forget to ask about policies and services that might make your home more or less livable.

Consider the following questions to help you evaluate the physical premises:

For many older adults, aging is a razor-thin line between independence on one side and health and safety on the other. Although toeing that line can feel daunting, the right senior living community will make it easier by offering a level of living that is ideally suited to your needs—both now and in the future as your circumstances change.

Types of senior living communities include:

Independent living communities

Independent living communities are designed for self-sufficient seniors who crave community with their peers, but also want to maintain an independent and autonomous lifestyle.

Assisted living communities

Assisted living communities resemble independent living communities but offer on-site care for older adults who need help with daily activities like medication management, bathing, dressing and transportation.

Memory care communities

Memory care communities are assisted living communities designed to accommodate seniors with cognitive illnesses like Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.

Skilled nursing facilities

Skilled nursing facilities provide 24-hour supervised care for older adults who have severe physical or cognitive illnesses that make them dependent on others.

Life plan communities

Life plan communities—also known as continuing care retirement communities, or CCRCs offer independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled nursing all within the same community in order to accommodate seniors as they age.

To determine which level of care is best for you or your loved one, take stock of your goals with regard to independence and your needs with regard to medical care. Then, consider the following questions to get a feel for whether a community can satisfy your requirements:

Doctors and nurses can keep you healthy and treat you when you’re ill, but they can’t prevent accidents or protect you from other risks, like crime and weather. It’s therefore important to inquire about safety features, protocols and procedures within any senior living communities that you’re touring.

Consider the following questions to determine whether you’ll feel safe and protected:

Top of mind when you’re looking at a senior living community is where you’ll live. An equally essential question, however, is how you’ll live. With that in mind, it’s important to evaluate what a retirement community offers not just in the way of senior housing, but also in the way of activities, amenities and events. Most seniors want to be able to indulge interests and hobbies that they can do independently and alone while also engaging in social activities that they can do with others—including new friends, which can be hard to make as an older adult.

It’s not just about staying occupied. It’s also about staying well, as seniors who are active and social tend to have better physical, mental and emotional health.

Consider the following questions to get a sense for social prospects:

The average person spends 1.18 hours every day eating and drinking. Although that might not sound like much, it adds up—to more than eight hours per week, 35 hours per month and more than 430 hours per year. When it comes to choosing a senior living community, food should therefore be top of mind. Or rather, top of mouth. Not just because you spend so much time eating, or even because you enjoy eating delicious food. But also because good nutrition is paramount to seniors’ health and wellbeing.

Consider the following questions to get a flavor for the food and dining situation:

A major selling point for retirement communities are the friends you’ll make there. But they aren’t the only folks who can shape your life at a senior living community. Just as consequential are the people who work there. The size and makeup of the staff, for example, can affect the level of service you receive while employees’ experience level and personality can have a major bearing on your daily experience.

Consider the following questions to help you assess the staff:

Real estate decisions are among the biggest decisions most people make. Not only because of their impact on one’s life, but also because of their impact on one’s bank account. Before you move into a senior living community, it’s important to understand what resources it will require, and how it will affect your overall financial goals—including everything from saving to estate planning.

While you need to be mindful of your current as well as future financial situation, also keep in mind that a senior living community isn’t just an expense; with appropriate planning and by choosing the right level of living to meet your needs, a community can be an asset that helps to conserve precious resources and extend your life.

Consider the following questions to determine whether living in a community is fiscally feasible:

You’ve asked the questions. You’ve gotten the answers. Now, all that’s left is the hardest part: making a decision.

Whether to sign a contract with a given senior living community is as difficult a choice as it is big. If you’ve asked the questions in this guide, however, you can breathe easy knowing you’ve done your due diligence. Don’t rush yourself. Sit with the information you’ve gathered, discuss it with loved ones you trust, and listen to your gut. When you know, you’ll know.

In that way, choosing a new home today is a lot like buying your first home was all those years ago—when it is right, it will feel right.

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When you decide to move to a senior living community, you’re not just deciding to move to a new home. It’s so much more than that. You’re also embracing the opportunity to move to a new phase in your life, the chance to try new things and meet new people, and the option to age independently, on your own terms. It’s exciting and fulfilling. But it also can be scary and stressful. And frankly, a lot of work.

Logistically, there are boxes to pack, memories to preserve, heirlooms to bequeath, clothes to donate, addresses to change, utilities to shut off, movers to hire and a million other loose ends that have to be tied. Emotionally, there are comfortable routines that will be interrupted, certainties that might become uncertain, favorite places and possessions that will be displaced, goodbyes that must be said and fears that must be faced. And if you’re downsizing from a large and long-held family home? Both the logistics and the emotions of moving can be even more fraught.

None of it is easy. When you consider the life that’s waiting on the other side, however, it’s all worth it. The question, then, isn’t whether you should move to senior housing. If you’re planning your move, you’ve already done the work to cross that bridge. Instead, the question now is: How should you move to senior housing?

Although it can’t find someone to buy your old dining room table, move your bedroom set across town or hang a picture in your new place, this step-by-step guide can make your move just a little bit easier by helping you plan and prepare for the logistical and emotional challenges that await on your way to a new home—and more importantly, a new life.

Moving can be physically exhausting, but also emotionally enervating. Long before you pack your things, you should therefore unpack your feelings. Doing so will give you the fortitude, motivation and resolve you need in order to turn the page to a new chapter in your life.

If you’re having a hard time coping with the prospect of change, or struggling with how to let go of people, places and possessions to which you’re attached, try to re-focus your attention from what you’re losing to what you’re gaining. For example, make a list of all the things you’re looking forward to in your new home. No matter what kind of retirement community you’re moving to—a community that offers independent living, assisted living, memory care or skilled nursing—there are reasons that you decided to move there in the first place.

Perhaps you’ll be closer to your grandchildren. Maybe you’re excited about warmer weather, making new friends or trying new activities. It could be that you’re looking forward to having some extra help with activities that have become difficult, or that you’ll feel more comfortable in a home that’s safer for you. Whatever your motivations for moving, writing them down and keeping them in view during the moving process will help you maintain the positive, optimistic attitude you need in order to get through your transition successfully.

It also can be helpful to honor the life you’ve enjoyed in your current home. Hosting a going-away party with friends and family to share photos and memories can be a fulfilling and cathartic way to do so. Or consider inviting those same people to a housewarming party in your new home if it’s close by; knowing that your loved ones will still be in your life once you’ve moved can be a source of great comfort, and having a party on the calendar in advance of your move will give you something to look forward to at the end of a long process.

If you’re still struggling to cope with your transition, a counselor or therapist might be able to help. Geriatric counselors who specialize in senior care can be especially helpful because they’re familiar with senior living communities and are well versed in the concerns that seniors have when they’re downsizing and moving to a new home. They can be an outlet for discussing things that you’re excited about and things you’re nervous about, and can offer useful strategies for coping with move-related guilt, regret, fear and anxiety, all of which are completely normal and usually a temporary side effect of change.

Of course, moving to a new home usually requires selling your old one. This is especially true for seniors who are moving to a senior living community, many of whom rely on real estate proceeds to finance the cost of living in a retirement community.

Emotionally and financially speaking, it’s in your best interest to sell your home as quickly as possible. If it’s allowed to sit on the market for too long, the listing will become stale, which ultimately will affect its sale price. Plus, a drawn-out sale will exacerbate any move-related anxiety that you’re already feeling.

To ensure your home sells as quickly as possible, for as much as possible, keep in mind the following advice:

Hire an agent who specializes in seniors.

Although you’ll have to pay a commission, a real estate agent typically is worth the money they charge because they have the knowledge, the network and the experience to successfully market your home, show it, negotiate with interested buyers and ultimately execute the transaction.

Agents who specialize in working with seniors are especially helpful because they understand the emotional aspects of selling a long-held family home; what financing options seniors have available to them; and the health, social and financial goals and constraints that are common to older adult clients. Plus, they’re educated about current scams targeting seniors, and how to protect their vulnerable clients from falling prey to them.

Although many agents might have experience working with senior clients, those who truly specialize in your cohort will typically have a Senior Real Estate Specialist (SRES) or Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) certification.

Prepare your home for sale.

Although your home is extremely personal, you should de-personalize it in order to appeal to buyers, who must be able to envision their family in the home instead of yours. That means removing personal photos and mementos, de-cluttering counters and surfaces, and moving or staging furniture in ways that might not work for your lifestyle but will emphasize for buyers the home’s best features and potential functionality. Your real estate agent can help and may suggest hiring a professional stager if reinforcements are necessary.

Be practical about pricing.

Your real estate agent will conduct a comprehensive and competitive market analysis in order to recommend a listing price for your home that’s based on its location, age, condition and other factors. The price might be more or less than you’d hoped for. While it’s important to protect your investment and maximize your return from it, be willing to look at the data and accept the reality of your local market. To the extent that you can, treating the sale as a financial instead of emotional transaction will allow you to get a good price in a short time frame so you can begin life in your new home soon and on the best possible footing.

If you find yourself feeling sentimental, keep in mind that selling your home doesn’t mean you have to erase it from your memory. You can move out and move on while still treasuring the life you had there. There are many ways to preserve and honor your memories in a home that you’re selling. If there’s a piece of the home that means something to you—for example, a door where you measured and marked your children’s height as they grew —you may be able to remove it and take it with you or pass it on to a family member. Or you could hire a professional photographer to photograph the home and make a framed print of it. Be creative and remember that you don’t have to live in the house in order to love the life that it gave you.

Although some retirement communities offer large, spacious homes in which to enjoy independent living, it’s often the case that older adults who move to a senior living community do so because they want to live a simpler life in a smaller, more manageable space. If you’re one of them, moving likely will require you to pare down your possessions.

Doing so isn’t easy—especially if you’ve spent a lifetime accumulating and collecting art, books, clothing, jewelry, furniture, trinkets and countless other objects of functional and sentimental import. What can be extremely difficult, however, is also extremely important. Before you move into a new home, you have to make room physically and emotionally for the new life you want to live. When you do, you’ll likely feel freer, lighter and nimbler than you have in years, having shed pounds of literal and figurative weight that you were carrying in the form of your stuff.

But where to start? The following tips will help you simplify and streamline in no time at all.

Schedule “downsizing days.”

If you have a lot of downsizing to do, you need dedicated time for weeding through your things and sorting them. Scheduling that time in a structured manner—put a date on your calendar to sort through the kitchen, for example, and another date to sort through the basement—makes it easier to set tangible goals, and to hold yourself accountable for meeting them.

Do the math.

“Downsizing” is a vague concept. Bring some specificity to the situation by measuring your new home, or requesting a floor plan from the senior living community to which you’re moving. When you know square footage, number of closets and other important information, you can calibrate and calculate exactly how much downsizing you need to do.

Divide in order to conquer.

Dividing your possessions into different sorting piles—a pile to keep, a pile to sell, a pile to donate and a pile to throw away—is a favorite downsizing strategy that professional organizers use with their clients. You can physically sort smaller items into piles, or you can use colored stickers to mark items of all sizes so that professional movers can move them for you later. Keep in mind that there are myriad options for the items you want to sell and donate, including retail charities like Goodwill and Salvation Army, nonprofits that provide low-income families with used clothing and furniture, websites like eBay, social networks like Facebook Marketplace, garage sales, estate sales and even auction houses, if you own valuable collectibles or antiques.

Assess the amenities.

Keep in mind where you’re going and what services and amenities will be available to you. If there’s a fitness center in your new senior living community, for example, you can probably sell any home exercise equipment you might have. If there are housekeeping services, you can toss your cleaning supplies. And if you plan to eat all your meals in a community dining room or restaurant, then you may not need to bring all of your kitchen items with you.

Get help.

Going through your things alone can be overwhelming and exhausting. Consider asking friends and family members for their assistance. This may be not only helpful—more hands makes for faster work—but also comforting in case you need emotional support to let go of certain items. Hired help also can be useful. A professional organizer, for example, can help you set priorities and offer useful strategies for accomplishing big jobs. There also are professional senior relocation services that specialize in helping older adults downsize their homes.

Hand down treasured items early.

If you have treasured items or family heirlooms that you plan to leave to your adult children or other relatives when you die, consider bequeathing them now instead. Doing so not only will free up space in your new home, but also will allow you to pass down something important to you while you’re still around to experience the joy that it creates.

No matter how much you plan and prepare, there’s just no getting around it: Moving day will be physically taxing and emotionally trying. But it also will be exceedingly exciting and gratifying. The more you can do ahead of time to mitigate the potential headaches, the more you’ll be able to savor the certain rewards. With that in mind, here are a few things you can do to make moving day go just a little bit smoother:

Start early.

The earlier you start planning your move—and packing your boxes—the better. Experts say two months prior to your anticipated move date is a good time to start planning. This should include getting estimates from moving companies and booking one of them, as the best movers often fill their slots weeks and even months in advance.

Get help.

Speaking of moving companies, you should hire one if you can afford it. Professional help will make things go more quickly and more smoothly. That said, it’s also good to have friends and family present to help, if possible. For example, consider appointing an adult child to the informal position of “moving day supervisor.” They can ease your burden by directing the movers and answering questions. Meanwhile, you can assign other helpers to various rooms of the house to do last-minute packing and cleaning.

Research move-in policies.

Your new senior living community may have special move-in policies of which you need to be aware on moving day. For example, where should you park your moving truck? Do you need a special permit? Is there a move-in fee? If you’re moving into an apartment or condominium in a multi-unit building, do you need to reserve a freight elevator? Finding all of this out ahead of time will ensure you don’t run into unwelcome surprises when you arrive to move into your new home.

Pack an overnight bag and a “first box.”

Anyone who’s moved before knows what it’s like to pack something you need and not know where to find it. Or worse yet, to know exactly where it is and be unable to reach it—because that place is in a box on a truck that’s still in transit. To prevent that common mistake from happening, pack an overnight bag to keep with you that includes essentials like a change of clothes, underwear, pajamas, an extra pair of shoes, medication and toiletries. Likewise, it’s a good idea to pack and label a “first box” that you will unpack before anything else in your new home. Inside should be things you need to make the first night and the first morning in your new home comfortable—for example, a nightlight, alarm clock, toilet paper, coffee maker and your favorite mug, etc.

Plan snacks and seating ahead of time.

If there’s anything you’ll need to conserve on moving day, it will be your energy. That means making time to eat and rest, even in the midst of your move’s busiest moments. But what happens when the fridge and cabinets have been emptied, and all the furniture has been loaded onto the truck? Think ahead to ensure you have an easy meal and snacks on hand, the means to eat them (e.g., paper plates, napkins, plastic cutlery) and somewhere other than the floor to sit when you need to take a break, like a folding chair or stool.

Make arrangements for pets.

If you have a pet that you’ll be bringing with you to your new home, be sure to think in advance about how you’ll transport them in a way that’s safe and comfortable. You might need to invest in a new pet carrier, for example, or ask your vet about anti-anxiety measures. It’s also a good idea to pack a special box that you keep with you that contains their pet food, medicine and any favorite toys that will help them adjust to their new home. Finally, consider a pet relocation service, which for a fee will pick your pet up and transport them safely to your new home so you don’t have to keep an eye on them while you’re busy supervising the move.

Make time to say goodbye.

Don’t underestimate how emotional moving day might be. Before you load the final box and lock the front door, take a minute to appreciate your home and reflect on all the good memories you made there. It will be bittersweet, but you’ll be glad you gave yourself a moment of closure. Doing so will allow you to fully embrace your exciting new life in your new home.

Finally, the move is over. Now what? Although you probably won’t feel settled right away, rest assured: What feels new and foreign now eventually will feel as comfortable and familiar as a favorite chair. It just takes time.

Still, there are things you can do to speed the process along and make your new space feel like home. Here are a few of them:

Unpack photos first.

If home is where the heart is, then the fastest way to make a home is to fill it with photographs of the people, places and memories that make your heart feel full.

Embrace the familiar.

A simple way to make a new space yours is to infuse it with things that remind you of your previous home. This might include not only favorite possessions—a piece of art or furniture from your old home, for example—but also favorite sights, sounds and scents. If you miss the rose bushes from the yard at your previous home, for example, buy some fresh roses and some rose-scented candles to burn. Or perhaps you used to live in the city and your new home is in a quiet suburb; buying a sound machine that plays traffic noises might be surprisingly soothing.

Let there be light.

You might experience moments of sadness or loneliness in your new home while you’re still adjusting to it. On days like that, make sure you open the blinds and turn on all your lamps. Making your home bright and light instead of dark and dreary can do wonders for your mood and your outlook.

Invest in houseplants.

You’ll meet new neighbors and make new friends, but that might take time. Meanwhile, houseplants can make good company. Not only do they provide fresh air, but they also will give you something to do and something to take care of.

Find your new favorite places.

Where did you spend most of your time before you moved? It’s important—and fun—to find equivalent places to frequent in your new community. If you spent a lot of time at church, for example, make it your mission to find a new congregation. If you had coffee every morning at a local restaurant, find a new favorite booth in a new favorite restaurant where you can spend your mornings getting caffeinated. And if you spent the first Tuesday of every month at the beauty shop, make it a priority to find a new place where you can get your hair and nails done.

Join a club or social group.

More than anything else, it’s the people you meet who will make your new place feel like home. It’s therefore important to seek out social groups and activities of which you can be a part. Fortunately, most senior living communities have plenty of them to offer. It could be a Bible study or book club, bridge group or bowling team. Find out what your community offers that interests you, then ask how you can get involved. Although being the new person can be intimidating, it’s important to get out of your comfort zone. New experiences and new relationships await.

Develop a routine.

A routine can give you a sense of normalcy while also helping you meet new people. Starting every morning with a walk around your new community, for example, will give structure to your day and help you meet your neighbors. If walking isn’t your thing, you could have dinner in the dining hall at the same time every evening, or attend the same yoga class every Wednesday afternoon. It could be anything. The key is to develop a routine that helps you establish a “new normal” in your new home.

No matter your age or life stage, moving can be challenging physically, emotionally and socially. After all, it’s full of garbage bags and goodbyes. But the chaos and uncertainty that so often accompany a big move are temporary. What’s everlasting are the new opportunities it creates, the new relationships it facilitates and the new lifestyle it affords.

Wherever you are in the moving process—if you’re years away from moving to a senior living community or days—it’s important to keep those things in mind. The boxes eventually will be gone, and so will the anxiety. In their place will be a new home in which to make new memories. Although they can never replace your past, they promise at every opportunity to enrich your future. All you have to do is let them.

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In consultations with clients young and old, financial advisors often liken retirement to sailing. It’s easy to see why. There’s a destination—financial security—not to mention countless storms along the way,including everything from market volatility to wallet-rattling events like death, divorce and illness. Getting through them safely and securely takes a little bit of luck and a lot of skill, just like sailing.

In most advisors’ sailing metaphors, navigators are the star. Because when it comes to money, navigation is paramount. When it comes to the emotional aspects of aging, however, the most important person on the boat is usually the captain. After all, navigators help with coordinates, but only the captain can steer the ship.

Every senior would like to be their own skipper. And yet, there often are occasions where adult children must don the captain’s hat on their parents’ behalf. One of those occasions is when it’s time to talk about transitioning to a senior living community.

Challenging though it may be, talking about senior housing can be made infinitely easier with a little preparation and forethought.

Ideally, older adults will recognize for themselves when they’ve aged out of their current home and lifestyle. But self-awareness is a tricky thing. It can be difficult to see the reality of one’s circumstances when you’re in the middle of it. When that’s the case, the trusted voice of a close family member can shine the light that’s needed to see things not as they used to be, but as they currently are.

To be sure, it’s a difficult discussion. And yet, it’s also a necessary discussion. Because underneath the stress and discomfort of candid conversation are real and urgent issues that threaten seniors’ physical and fiscal wellness—not to mention that of their grown children, on whose shoulders eventually can fall the responsibility for their parents’ health and happiness. Sooner or later, you have to have The Talk. Not only for Mom and Dad’s sake, but also for your own.

Challenging though it may be, talking about senior housing can be made infinitely easier with a little preparation and forethought. Use this guide to form a plan that makes the conversation comfortable and productive, ensuring smooth sailing through rough waters for you, your parents and your entire family.

Before you attempt to have a talk with your parents, you must have a talk with yourself—about what senior living communities are, what they offer and why your parents should consider moving to one. The more homework you do ahead of time, the better prepared you’ll be tomake a compelling case to your parents when you speak with them.

To lay good groundwork, take the following preparatory steps:

Thanks to television shows and movies that are based on old stereotypes and outdated models of care, you and your parents probably have preconceived notions about what a senior living community is. Before you broach the subject, therefore, it’s important to understand what senior housing is all about.

First and foremost, you should know that a senior living community is not a nursing home, and that senior housing is not a one-size-fitsall solution. In fact, senior housing today is all about flexibility and choice—giving seniors and their families a wide variety of options to suit their unique needs, circumstances and objectives.

As important as it is to know what senior living communities are, it’s even more important to know why they’re attractive to residents and their families, many of whom might embrace the idea of aging in place were it not for some very legitimate concerns. The following are some of common reasons that parents and their adult children turn to senior living communities; before you sit down with your parents, ask yourself which ones resonate with you, and which ones might resonate with Mom and Dad.

Safety

Although your parents may wish to age in place, doing so can come with significant risks—including falls, which are the leading cause of injury among adults 65 and older thanks to their limited mobility, decreased eyesight and increased fragility. For older adults, even minor falls sustained doing routine household chores can have major implications, including broken bones and fractures, head injuries, permanent disability and even death.

Why Senior Living: Senior living communities often have accessible residences that are designed for seniors’ safety, as well as amenities like meal service and housekeeping that preclude seniors from attempting dangerous household chores.

Health and Wellness

Even if your parents manage to avoid falling, they’ll still be prone to medical emergencies. What happens if they have a heart attack, for instance, or a stroke? What if they mix up their medications, or have an allergic reaction? And what about diet and fitness? Malnourishment and muscle loss can be common in seniors, many of who stop shopping, eating and exercising when it becomes more difficult for them to drive and walk.

Why Senior Living: Certain types of senior housing, like assisted living communities, may have medical personnel onsite who can assist in the event of a medical emergency. Many have meal services that ensure proper nutrition, and most offer amenities and activities to help residents stay active and fit.

Financial Security

Money is a common concern for seniors, many of whom live on a fixed income. If a financial emergency were to befall them, would they be OK? A medical event, for example, could be just as hurtful to their wealth as it is to their health. A home disaster, such as a broken furnace or flooded basement, could be equally disruptive. And then there are financial fraudsters, for whom seniors are often easy prey. Even something as routine as paying bills can become problematic for older adults, whose failing eyesight and discomfort with the latest technologies could lead to missed or mispaid bills, which in turn can lead to cancellation or interruption of critical services.

Why Senior Living: Senior living communities make for stable and predictable expenses, which makes financial planning and management simple for seniors and their families. Plus, many communities offer tiered services that can flex to fit any budget.

Socialization

As they age, seniors often see less of friends and peers. Some of them retire in faraway places. Some of them become ill or disabled. Some become isolated due to lack of mobility. Still others pass away. Meanwhile, grown children who used to consume so much of their time become busy with careers and families of their own. The cumulative effect for many older adults is a smaller social circle that can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Why Senior Living: Senior living communities are designed with socialization in mind, offering ample opportunity to participate in organized activities as well as impromptu social engagements.

Support

When friends and family are absent, it’s not just seniors’ social lives that suffer. It’s also their support system. Suddenly, they have no one to check in on them to make sure they’re OK. That can have consequences not only for their mental health, but also for their physical well-being. For example, imagine a natural disaster; in the event of a major tornado, blizzard, earthquake or hurricane, who would make sure your parents had food, water and heat, or help them evacuate if it was no longer safe to shelter in place?

Why Senior Living: Senior living communities have built-in support in the form of neighbors and friends, as well as professional staff.

Mental Acuity

Aging doesn’t just impact the body. It also impacts the mind. In particular, memory loss from Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can create its own kinds of safety concerns. Seniors with cognitive illness, for example, may be prone to wandering and might endanger themselves with simple acts of absentmindedness, like leaving a hot stove unattended.

Why Senior Living: Many senior living communities offer memory care services that are designed especially for seniors with Alzheimer’s and dementia.

While you’re contemplating how a senior living community can benefit your parents, consider how it can benefit you, as well. If Mom and Dad choose to age in place, at some point they’ll likely need increased support and supervision from you. Think about your own responsibilities at work and at home. Do you have the time to be a full- or even part-time caregiver? To help on a routine basis with groceries and household chores? What about the social and emotional bandwidth that caregiving requires? A senior living community can bridge the gap between the help your parents need and the help you’re able to offer.

Your parents aren’t the only ones you might have to persuade on the merits of a senior living community. If you have siblings, you’ll need to bring them into the conversation as well. Schedule a dedicated time to speak with them in person, over the phone or via video call. Then, have the same conversation with them that you’ve been having with yourself. That means discussing your parents’ current and future needs, as well as our own ability—or inability—to contribute to their care. You and your siblings should consider how close each of you lives to your parents, what each of you wants Mom and Dad’s life as older adults to look like, what kind of help and support your parents might expect from you, and what role each of you will play in the larger caregiving picture.

If there are disagreements about Mom and Dad’s future, you should speak about them openly and honestly, and listen sincerely to your siblings’ concerns. If necessary, it might be helpful to seek the help of a neutral third-party professional who can facilitate a level-headed discussion in pursuit of consensus.

Ultimately, you should elect one of you to initiate and lead the senior living conversation—for example, the sibling who is emotionally closest to Mom and Dad, the sibling who lives nearest to them or the sibling who has always been the most rational and organized.

Whoever is in charge of the conversation should go into it with a written agenda—things they want to say, points they want to make and questions they want to ask. Because talks about senior housing can be extremely emotional and stressful, it can be easy to forget in the moment what you planned to say. You only have one chance to start the conversation off on the right foot, and having a loose script, outline or checklist to work from can help you hit the right notes. And yet, you shouldn’t rely too heavily on your written materials, as the best conversations typically come from the heart and not from the page.

You’ve done your homework. All that’s left to do now is the talking. It won’t be easy. But if you embrace the following roadmap, it can be a productive start to a successful child-parent dialogue.

1. Make your parents comfortable.

When, where and how you have the talk can be just as important as what you say. The first thing you should do, therefore, is arrange to have the conversation at a time that’s convenient for your parents and in a place that’s comfortable for them. If your parents hate talking on the phone, for example, it might be best to have the talk in person—even if that means waiting a few months until your next visit if you live out of state. Likewise, blindsiding them over dinner in a public restaurant might not be the best approach. Instead, tell them ahead of time that you’d like to have a serious conversation, and let them decide where they’d like to have it. That gives them time to prepare themselves, and makes them feel like they have agency in the discussion they’re about to have with you.

2. Break the ice.

Starting the discussion often is the most difficult part of it. To get things off on the right foot, consider different ways to break the ice with anecdotes. For instance, you could:

• APPEAL TO THEIR DESIRES

  Have your parents been dreaming about traveling? Does Mom regularly muse about how nice it would be to have more neighbors her age, or how she misses her Bunco group? Seize on those desires and use them as a jumping-off point.

  For example, “I know you guys have been wanting to travel more. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could put some of the money you’re spending on the house into traveling? Or if you didn’t have to worry about the house while you were away? If you lived in a senior living community, you might have more freedom to do the things you’ve been wanting to do.”

• ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR FEARS

  Has Dad had health scares? Has Mom been having memory problems? Did they have a hard time putting up their holiday decorations this year, or stocking up for a big winter storm? Offering solutions to things they’re already worried about can be an effective approach.

  For example, “Remember last summer when you tripped in your garden? Thank goodness you were OK, but what if something like that happens again? If you lived in a senior living community, you wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

• EMPHASIZE SUCCESS STORIES

  The grass is always greener on the other side. Sharing positive anecdotes from friends and family members who have already made the transition to senior living can help you make the grass look even greener.

  For example, “Didn’t your cousin Mary recently move into a senior living community? I hear that she’s really loving it. Have you thought about doing something similar?”

• SET AN EXAMPLE

  If your parents are procrastinators, it might help if you lead the way. And leading by example can be especially effective.

  For example, “I finally sat down with an attorney last month to do my estate planning. I feel so much better having that done. Have you guys done yours yet?”

• PLEAD TO THEIR INNER PARENT

  Your parents have always wanted the best for you, and the last thing they want to be is a burden. Appealing to their inner nurturers can therefore be a good way to grab their attention.

  For example, “I’ve been feeling really anxious lately about how I’m going to possibly manage everything in the future—maintaining my job, caring for the kids and watching over you guys. Knowing you were safe in a senior living community would sure make me feel better.”

3. Embrace empathy.

Next to practical information about what senior living communities are and what benefits they confer, probably the most important thing you can bring to your conversation with Mom and Dad is empathy. Because even if you approach the discussion from the right place and make all the right points, your parents might still have a negative reaction initially. And that’s understandable. Change is hard to process, and aging is emotional. Before you become defensive or combative, try to put yourself in your parents’ shoes. Remain calm, honest and rational, even if they cannot. If you can be continually cognizant of their concerns and unflinchingly respectful of their feelings, cooler heads eventually will prevail.

4. Practice active listening.

Remember, this is supposed to be a conversation. That means not just talking, but also listening. Often, older adults who are confronting a new chapter in their life simply want to be heard as they work through the new choices and challenges before them. You can do your part to help them through it by being silent and attentive, by not interrupting, by withholding judgment, by asking insightful questions and by repeating their points back to them so they know you understood them.

5. Be persistent, not pushy.

Your parents are still your parents. Just because they’ve reached a certain age doesn’t mean they’ve lost their powers of reason or relinquished their sovereignty. Even when they disagree with you, they’re still autonomous adults who are allowed to make their own decisions. With that in mind, it’s helpful to remember that your role is not that of a decider someone who makes unilateral decisions on behalf of your entire family—but rather that of an advisor: someone who suggests, informs, encourages and inspires. If you don’t get the accord you were seeking right away, that’s OK. If you continue to make and repeat your points, your parents eventually will hear you out.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your parents’ future be. Progress takes persistence. No matter how things go, it’s important to keep communicating. After all, The Talk is rarely a single conversation. More often than not, it’s the opening salvo in a series of conversations that gradually, eventually produces the best outcome for parents and children alike. That outcome might be a senior living community. But also, it might not be. Either way, coming to a decision requires a slow and steady approach that’s based on compromise and collaboration. Like sailing, you’ve got to constantly assess the wind and adjust your sails in order to reach your destination—whether you’re captain of the boat or just another crew member.

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Whether it’s deciding on a college, living on your own for the first time, or buying your first house; the process is a journey wrought with highs and lows. Choosing a senior living community is no different. Although, when it comes to this time of life, it may not be with the same mixed emotions.

When is it truly time? What are the options? What do we need? Want? How do we choose? Where do we even start?

This may be due to the misperceptions many have about senior living. Unaffectionately known as ‘the home’ for many, stigmas of the past simply aren’t true today. In fact, senior living communities now more closely resemble resorts on sprawling campuses with comfortable accommodations and plenty of amenities. The environment fosters independence, perhaps even more so than at home. The many opportunities to socialize, exercise and stay mentally active will pleasantly surprise you. As for the cost, that may surprise you too because, in some cases, senior living is less expensive than staying home!

The other part is the journey itself. When is it truly time? What are the options? What do we need? Want? How do we choose? Where do we even start? And once we decide on the senior living community, how do we actually make the transition?

We can help you with it all—from looking at this time as a new beginning to making the decision to moving in. Simply put, it’s everything your family needs to know about choosing a senior living community.

Did you decide to move for a more carefree lifestyle? Are you looking at options for a loved one who now needs more assistance than can be provided at home? The journey is different for everyone. Add in different caregiving roles, family dynamics, budget, location and lifestyle considerations
and you now know why senior living is no longer one size fits all.

That said, everyone’s journey should start in one place – with an honest assessment of your situation to identify what’s working and what isn’t.

Here are some areas to think about and assess: are they currently working, does the family want to manage, and should we get help?

Whether you’re the one moving or you’re the primary caregiver, when considering a life change of this magnitude it’s crucial to get input from family members. They may offer conflicting opinions, may have thoughts or ideas you haven’t considered, or may affirm your decision. Regardless, everyone should feel valued and heard to foster a spirit of collaboration in the decisions ahead.

As a starting point, each family member involved in the decision-making process should put these considerations in order of importance (1–5). Have everyone complete his or her own, but do them at the same time if possible to align everyone’s goals on what is most important in your search.

There are non-negotiables and nice-to-haves in every major life decision—choosing a house, car, college or even a spouse. Senior living is no different! Identifying these early on can help you stay focused on your search so your needs and wants are met as best as possible.

We’ll get you started with a list of commonly requested features. Feel free to add your own, but keep in mind most senior living communities already offer the basics such as meals, transportation, housekeeping, linen service, maintenance and activities.

If you’re considering senior living for your love one, it’s important that you don’t approach the move from a purely practical standpoint. This is an emotional time with common fears that include:

Take these fears to heart as your family discusses the future together. Showing empathy and patience will provide comfort that you’re on their side, can strengthen your relationship and even help them warm up to the idea of moving.

Senior living communities provide just the right amount of support and assistance to help your loved one live life to its fullest.

Senior living communities offer more care and housing options today than ever before. The abundance of choices can be overwhelming if you’re not prepared. Good thing you are! By having your most important considerations and what you want and need identified already, your family will have a much easier time finding the right community.

For Today and Tomorrow

PRICING PREVIEW

Comparing the Cost of Home Versus Senior Living

Even if your comparison shows a senior living community may cost more, make sure to keep the positive impact on quality of life in the equation. What is the value of a satisfying social life? What is the worth of rediscovering the cultural and recreational activities you’ve always loved? And remember, there’s no price tag on peace of mind.

Four out of five adults underestimate the costs of home health care with the average American underestimating the cost by almost 50 percent, according to the Genworth Long Term Care/ Caregiving Online Survey.

Now that you better understand the cost and value of senior living, let’s discuss how you can prepare financially. While every family’s circumstances are different, there are three general steps you should follow in budgeting for senior living.

Gather and organize financial documents for yourself or your loved one such as:

Discuss putting a financial plan in place while you’re discussing what you want in a senior living community. Talk about your wishes, needs and goals (or those of your loved one) as well as how to handle ongoing financial duties such as paying bills, managing benefit claims, making investment decisions and preparing tax returns.

Consider consulting a financial advisor and/or estate planning attorney who specializes in elder care and/or long-term care planning to discuss:

Now that you have a better idea of what type of senior living community might be the best fit, it’s time to find the right place for you. To say not all communities are alike is an understatement. It’s crucial to learn all you can up front.

Dig in Online

Reach Out

Schedule a visit

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Once you’ve chosen the community it’s time to plan the move. Even though your family has agreed that senior living is best, there’s still likely to be a great deal of trepidation about what to expect. It’s important to include the community at this point of the process. They will be more than happy to help ease the transition for all of you!

Here’s how:

Once you put down a deposit, an assessment will be scheduled (unless you are moving into independent living) to ensure the community can provide you with all the care required. The assessment also determines the additional costs for personal care. There are communities that include some care within the monthly fee and others separate rent and care. Every state regulates senior living differently, and the state determines what care can and cannot be provided.

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Senior Living Guides

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For many seniors, older adulthood eventually brings with it an “aha”moment. It could be early in the morning at the kitchen table, when you’re sipping hot coffee in an empty house that was made for six instead of two. It might be when you find yourself getting winded carrying laundry up the stairs, or when your spouse slips in the shower and nearly breaks a bone. Or maybe it will come on a Saturday night, wishing you were engaged in a boisterous game of canasta with friends instead of nodding off yet again in front of the television. Whenever and wherever it appears, what you’ll probably think to yourself when it comes is, “Maybe it’s time for a change.”

Aging isn’t the end of the road.
Rather, it’s the beginning
of a new one.

And maybe it is. By the time you reach retirement age, the children you spent your adult life raising are grown. The friends with whom you made your favorite memories have moved on. The hobbies you used to enjoy are no longer fulfilling. And even the most routine household chores have become a lot harder to do.

But aging isn’t the end of the road. Rather, it’s the beginning of a new one. When it’s no longer serving you, letting go of the lifestyle you had can make room for the lifestyle you want.

Whatever it entails—time with family, traveling, yoga, gardening or golf, to name just a few of the infinite possibilities—that lifestyle might become more attainable by moving to a senior living community. There, in a home that’s made for aging, surrounded by useful services, attractive amenities and scores of new friends, your next chapter can be simpler, safer and more satisfying.

Even so, the decision to embrace senior housing is as difficult as it is big. For that reason, it can be helpful to have the support of loved ones as you make it. But family members’ support doesn’t always come easy. What feels practical, prudent and preferable to you might seem sudden, impulsive and ill-considered to them. This is particularly true in the case of adult children, for whom parents’ aging can be especially impactful from a social, emotional and even financial point of view.

Still, it’s important to talk. Whether your loved ones are welcoming of the idea or wary of it, discussing your future in a senior living community can bring parents, children and siblings closer together in ways that benefit the entire family for years to come—that is, as long as you approach the conversation in ways that are caring, considerate and informed. Using this guide to plan your discussion will ensure that you do.

If you’re thinking about moving to a senior living community, you’re probably waiting for “the right time” to broach the subject with your adult children and other family members. Unfortunately, rarely is there ever an ideal time to have a difficult chat. Instead of waiting for a conversational door to magically appear, a better approach is to build the door yourself. And that takes planning. Here are four things you should do to prepare:

When you tell your family that you want to move into a senior living community, what they might hear from you is, “I’m ready to go to a nursing home.” But senior living communities aren’t nursing homes. Senior housing today encompasses a diverse menu of safe, comfortable and dignified choices that allow seniors to live as independently as they want to, with as much—or as little—assistance as they need.

Before you discuss senior living with your family, it’s a good idea to make sure you understand what those choices are so that you can explain to your loved ones what your plan entails and how it will help you achieve the medical, emotional, social and/or financial goals that you have set for yourself. In particular, you’ll want to understand the difference between the following types of communities:

INDEPENDENT LIVING COMMUNITIES

Comprising age-restricted neighborhoods or campuses of apartments, condominiums or even single-family homes, independent living communities are designed for self-sufficient seniors who want to be part of a community while also maintaining their independence and privacy. Amenities like dining services, housekeeping, home maintenance and organized activities can ease the burdens of senior living without threatening seniors’ autonomy.

ASSISTED LIVING COMMUNITIES

Like independent living communities, assisted living communities offer residences and amenities that make life easier and safer for the seniors who live in them. For the older adult who needs it, they offer baked-in assistance with daily activities like medication management, bathing, dressing and transportation.

MEMORY CARE COMMUNITIES

Memory care communities offer assisted living for seniors with cognitive illnesses like Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Because Alzheimer’s and dementia care can present unique challenges, they feature staff, services and social activities that are tailored to residents’ special needs.

SKILLED NURSING FACILITIES

Skilled nursing facilities offer 24-hour supervised care for seniors who have severe physical or cognitive illnesses that make them dependent on others for even the most basic aspects of daily living.

LIFE PLAN COMMUNITIES

Also known as continuing care retirement communities, or CCRCs, life plan communities are designed to be dynamic and flexible by offering independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled nursing all in the same place. In so doing, they allow seniors to live out their retirement in the same community—safe, secure and stable—no matter how their needs might change as they age.

Even if you do a good job explaining what modern senior living communities look like, your family members might have a hard time seeing past negative stereotypes and emotional assumptions. For that reason, it’s important that you be able to express not only where you want to spend your golden years, but also why you want to spend them there. Here are a few of the most common reasons that seniors give for moving into a senior living community. Before you speak to your family, think about which ones resonate most with you.

SAFETY

When they think about retirement, most people assume they will want to age in place. When their body stops working the way it used to, however, reality often sets in. When that happens, seniors often realize that aging in place can come with significant risks, including falls—the leading cause of injury among adults 65 and older thanks to their limited mobility—decreased eyesight and increased fragility. For older adults, even minor falls sustained doing routine household chores can have major implications, including broken bones and fractures, head injuries, permanent disability and even death.

Senior living communities often have accessible residences that are designed for seniors’ safety, as well as amenities like meal service and housekeeping that preclude seniors from having to perform potentially dangerous household chores.

Health and Wellness

Even if you manage to avoid falling, you’ll still be prone to medical emergencies. What happens if you have a heart attack, for instance, or a stroke? What if you mix up your medications, or have an allergic reaction? And what about diet and fitness? Malnourishment and muscle loss can be common in seniors, many of whom stop shopping, eating and exercising when it becomes more difficult for them to drive and walk.

Certain types of senior housing, like assisted living communities, have medical personnel onsite who can assist in the event of a medical emergency. Many have meal services that ensure proper nutrition, and most offer amenities and activities to help residents stay active and fit.

Financial Security

Money is a common concern for seniors, many of whom live on a fixed income. If you were to experience a financial emergency, would you be OK? A medical event, for example, could be just as hurtful to your wealth as it is to your health. A home disaster, such as a broken furnace or flooded basement, could be equally disruptive. And then there are financial fraudsters, for whom seniors are often easy prey. Even something as routine as paying bills can become problematic for older adults, whose failing eyesight and limited technological expertise could lead to missed or mispaid bills, which in turn can lead to cancellation or interruption of critical services.

Senior living communities offer stable and predictable expenses, which makes financial planning and management simple. Plus, many communities offer tiered services that can flex to fit any budget.

Socialization

As they age, seniors often see less of friends and peers. Some of them retire to distant places. Some become ill or disabled. Some become isolated due to lack of mobility. Still others pass away. Meanwhile, grown children who used to consume so much of their time become busy with careers and families of their own. The cumulative effect for many older adults is a smaller social circle that can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Senior living communities are designed with socialization in mind, offering ample opportunity to participate in organized activities as well as impromptu social engagements.

Support

When friends and family are absent, it’s not just seniors’ social lives that suffer. It’s also their support system. Suddenly, they have no one to check in on them to make sure they’re OK. That can have consequences not only for their mental health, but also for their physical well-being. For example, imagine a natural disaster; in the event of a major tornado, blizzard, earthquake or hurricane, who would make sure you had food, water and heat, or helped you evacuate if it was no longer safe to shelter in place?

Senior living communities have built-in support in the form of neighbors and friends, as well as professional staff. Most communities have essential goods, emergency systems and well-considered preparedness plans they can quickly execute should a major event occur.

Mental Acuity

Aging doesn’t just impact the body. It also impacts the mind. In particular, memory loss from Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can create its own kinds of safety concerns. Seniors with cognitive illness, for example, may be prone to wandering and might endanger themselves with simple acts of absentmindedness, like leaving a hot stove unattended.

Many senior living communities offer memory care services that are designed especially for seniors with Alzheimer’s and dementia.

While you’re contemplating how you can benefit from living in a senior living community, consider how your family can benefit as well. If you decide to age in place, at some point you’ll likely need increased support and supervision from your adult children or other relatives, each of whom has their own family, job and other responsibilities to tend to. Will your loved ones have the time to be a full- or even part-time caregiver? To help on a routine basis with groceries and household chores? What about the social and emotional bandwidth that caregiving requires? A senior living community can help you maintain the treasured roles and relationships you have—parent and child, for instance, instead of caregiver and dependent.

When it comes to something as sensitive as aging, it may feel most natural to speak from the heart. And you should, because sincerity is important. It’s also important, however, to be prepared, organized and cogent. If you leave your remarks to chance, you might forget to say something important, and could end up meandering in ways that make your decision appear hasty and ill-conceived.

To come off as both authentic and informed, prepare a loose agenda or outline prior to speaking with your family members—something that you can consult as you talk, but which you won’t read verbatim. Because talks about senior housing can be extremely emotional and stressful, writing down the things you want to say and the points you want to make can ensure that conversations are focused, rational and productive, but also genuine and heartfelt.

Remember that conversation is by nature a two-way street. While it’s important to prepare what you want to say, it’s just as critical that you be ready to hear your family members’ response. They’ll have feelings to share, but also questions to ask. Lots and lots of questions. If you already have a senior living community in mind, for example, they might want to know the size and setup of the residences, what the monthly rent will be, whether meals are provided, what other services are and aren’t included, and whether Medicare or Medicaid will help with the costs. As much as you can, try to anticipate what questions they will have, and to prepare answers to demonstrate that you’ve done your homework. Having brochures and other literature available to share also can be helpful.

Ultimately, all your planning and preparation are groundwork for a single moment: convening a family meeting to finally announce your senior-living wishes. Like other family meetings you may have had over the years, the ensuing conversation might be unsettling and uncomfortable. But it’s also really important. Keeping in mind the following advice will ensure that everyone feels heard so you can build your future with the support of a family that’s united instead of divided.

When, where and how you have the talk can be just as important as what you say. The first thing you should do is to arrange having the conversation at a time and place that’s convenient for your loved ones. Instead of blindsiding them over dinner in a public restaurant, for example, tell them ahead of time that you’d like to have a serious conversation, then let them decide where they’d like to have it. That gives them time to prepare themselves, and makes them feel like they have agency in the discussion they’re about to have with you.

Starting the discussion often is the most difficult part of it. To get things off on the right foot, consider different ways to break the ice. For instance, you could:

Emphasize Your Desires

Your family doesn’t want to deprive you of things that will bring you joy, so that can be a good place to start. Maybe you’ve always dreamed about traveling, for example. Maybe you love to garden, but don’t have the space to do it at home. Or maybe you’re really excited by the prospect of making new friends. Whatever it is, focusing on what you will gain by moving to a senior living community can be an effective way to build support and enthusiasm for the idea.

Acknowledge Obstacles

Have you had health scares or memory problems? Are you having a hard time doing housework or grocery shopping? Are you lonely or isolated? Instead of pretending that everything is fine, consider admitting to your family that you are facing new challenges as you age. When they’re confronted with the reality of your situation, family members may be more receptive to the idea of a senior living community as a practical solution to real problems.

Share Success Stories

As previously mentioned, family members may have false impressions and negative stereotypes about what a senior living community is. A good way to dispel myths and rally support is to share positive anecdotes from friends and relatives who have already made the transition to senior living—particularly those your family members know, like a cousin your adult children remember from family reunions, or a close family friend who they always looked up to.

Focus On The Family

Although it’s your future, there undoubtedly are implications for your family members, too. Focusing on how senior living will improve their lives as much as it will improve yours can be persuasive. If your adult daughter just started her medical residency, for example, she might appreciate knowing that she can focus on her budding career without having to worry about whether you’re taken care of. If your adult son has young kids, he might be excited to know that the senior living community you’re looking at has a community swimming pool where grandkids are welcome on family days. Or perhaps your children live in a cold climate and would jump at the opportunity to have a warm place to visit in the winter.

If your family is concerned about your decision, it could be because they imagine senior living communities as places where seniors live sedentary lifestyles inside cloistered facilities. The refreshing reality—that many senior living communities not only encourage active, independent living, but actually make it safer and more feasible—can be eye-opening for adult children and others who are skeptical.

Adult children in particular might take it personally when you tell them that you want to live in senior housing. They might have imagined, for example, that you would eventually move in with them when you needed extra support. Or maybe you already do live with them, in which case they might feel hurt that you have decided you’d be happier elsewhere. In the case of assisted living communities, adult children might also have a hard time entrusting your well-being to others, insisting that no one will be able to give you the same level of care and love that they can give. If you sense that your loved ones feel wounded by your wishes, the best thing you can do is reiterate your motivations and reassure them that your choice has nothing to do with them. They didn’t do anything wrong or push you away; rather, you’re simply ready to pursue new goals in a new environment.

Even if your family doesn’t take your decision personally, they might have other objections. For example, perhaps your adult children were counting on you for childcare that you’ll no longer be able to provide. Maybe they’re worried that your decision will have financial implications for them—that they will have to help you cover the costs of senior living, for example, or that you will spend their inheritance on rent. Or perhaps your aging simply makes them feel insecure about their own advancing years.Whatever they are, their concerns are real, even if you don’t believe them to be valid. For that reason, the most important thing you can bring to your conversation with family is empathy. Change is hard to process, and aging is emotional. Before you become defensive or combative, try to put yourself in your family’s shoes. Remain calm, honest and rational, even if they cannot. If you can be continually aware of their concerns and unflinchingly respectful of their feelings, cooler heads eventually will prevail.

Remember, this is supposed to be a conversation. That means not just talking, but also listening. Often, family members who have objections or concerns simply want to be heard as they process the new choices and challenges that you’re facing. You can do your part to help them through it by being silent and attentive, by not interrupting, by withholding judgment, by asking insightful questions and by repeating their points back to them so they know you understood them.

Keep in mind that the senior-living conversation is rarely a single conversation. More often, it’s a series of progressive conversations that take place over time. If you don’t get the accord you were seeking right away, that’s OK. If you continue to make and repeat your points, your family eventually will hear you out. 

As the conversation continues, there are things you can do to move the needle in a positive direction. For example:

Meet with a financial advisor

Money can be one of the biggest concerns for family members who are skeptical of senior housing. Although they want to support you emotionally, they worry whether they will be able to support you financially. Meeting with a financial advisor can help you and your loved ones understand what resources you need, what resources you have and what might be required to fill the gap between them if there is one. Importantly, a financial advisor also can help you compare the costs of living in a senior living community to the costs of aging in place. When you consider the money you might spend over time on home maintenance, in-home healthcare and other expenses, the latter isn’t always as affordable as it seems.

Take A Tour

Talking about a senior living community is one thing. Actually seeing a community is something else entirely. If you’re still trying to decide on a community, invite your family members to join you on tours. And if you’ve already chosen a community, schedule a time to visit it with them. Although they may still have reservations, family members often end up excited for you when they see firsthand what your life is going to look like and the ways in which it might improve.

Delegate Duties and Decisions

Ultimately, where you want to live is your choice. Involving family members in the process, however, can make them feel important and engaged. That, in turn, can build buy-in. For instance, you could task adult children with helping you find potential communities to tour and explore. Or if you’ve already chosen a community, you could ask loved ones to help you do research about the area around it, or help execute your move by hiring movers, organizing a garage sale or planning a housewarming party.

Wherever you choose to spend the next phase of your life, the change is bound to be both scary and exciting. You don’t have to do it alone. Your family and friends can be thereto help you, to provide support and cheer you on. First, though, you have to invite them in. There might be conflict along the way, but in the end you’ll be glad that you did.

Find the answers you need in our helpful guides.

Senior Living Guides

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Everest. K2. Kilimanjaro. Denali. Olympus. These are just a few of the world’s most famous peaks. For even the most experienced climbers, the journey to the top of them is a dangerous slog that pushes the limits of the mind and body. At the end of each ascent, however, awaits the most beautiful apex. The air is thin and the body tired. But in the presence of so much majesty—and so much accomplishment—the soul is full.

You may not fancy yourself a mountaineer. But if you’ve reached retirement age, you’ve done your fair share of climbing. Just think of the good kids you raised, the hard jobs you worked or the happy home you made. The friendships you forged, and the loved ones you lost. The trips you took, and the lessons you learned. The sights you’ve seen, the places you’ve lived and all the great stories you’ve collected along the way. Every person, memory and experience represents a new foothold on your way to a summit that used to feel so distant but now feels inexplicably near.

Now that you’re scaling the face of one last rock, reaching triumphantly for the top, you’ve probably noticed two thoughts occupying your head. The first is a statement: “Congratulations; you made it.” The second, a question: “Now what?”

Every person, memory and experience represents a new foothold on your way to a summit that used to feel so distant but now feels inexplicably near.

There’s no simple answer to the latter. There are only choices. Lots of them, in fact. Most require more climbing amid an endless outcrop of crags. Only one affords you the luxury of resting every day in the foreground of a spectacular view: a senior living community.

Senior living communities aren’t what you think they are. They are not nursing homes, for example. A nursing home is an end. A senior living community, on the other hand, is a means. In the right senior living community, you can receive as much assistance as you want or as little. The assistance can be medical, domestic or even just social. What’s important is that it’s there when you need it—which ensures an ample supply of something else you expect in retirement: independence. It’s senior living with an emphasis on the “living.” Because when you outsource life’s challenges, you create more time, space and energy for life’s pleasures. And isn’t that why you put so much energy into climbing in the first place?

Whether you’re curious, skeptical or sold, keep reading to discover the many surprising benefits of a senior living community

Although no two seniors are exactly alike, older adults who are envisioning and planning their golden years consistently say it’s important to them that they have:

Freedom and Autonomy

Self-confidence born of self-reliance. The sovereignty to make your own choices, and to do things for yourself. The ability—and mobility—to go where you want, when you want. Privacy and the pursuit of happiness. Whatever it means to you, independence often tops the list of seniors’ priorities as they age.

Passions and Purpose

Retirement looks different for everyone. Some seniors want to continue working, or to start their own business. Some want to enrich their lives with volunteer work. Still others want to travel, or to spend their days indulging lifelong interests and brandnew hobbies—cooking, painting, dancing, knitting, yoga, gardening. What almost everyone has in common, however, is the desire to feel connected to and engaged by activities that fulfill them.

Meaningful Relationships

Having people can be just as important as having passions. Oftentimes, more so. Whether you want to be close to cherished family members and friends, surrounded by neighbors and community, or plugged into activities that spawn new relationships with likeminded souls, it’s important to think about your ability to maintain an active and enjoyable social life that fills your days with companionship and fun.

If these resonate with your own goals, it’s worth considering how different retirement scenarios might affect them. Aging in place might give you more autonomy, for example, but at the expense of your social life. Or perhaps you have rich friendships with your current neighbors, but the state of your home threatens your independence. Whatever your situation, you must set your priorities and calibrate your future plans accordingly. When you do, you might discover the opposite of what you expected— that a senior living community will enhance your life, not limit it.

Remember when you were young? You probably assumed that your hair would never gray, that your knees would never ache, that your vision would never blur and that your energy would never wane. Now you know better. It makes you wonder: What are you currently taking for granted? What needs might you have tomorrow about which you are in denial today?

Aging can be extremely rewarding and satisfying. But it also can be extremely scary. As you plan your next chapter, it’s therefore important to acknowledge your greatest fears and lay plans that will help you manage and mitigate their impact on your retirement years. Common worries include:

Financial Security

Even seniors who have been diligent about saving and prudent about spending worry that they might run out of money, or that they may not have enough of it to have the kind of retirement they want to have.

Declining Health

With age, even the healthiest bodies become more susceptible to illness and injury, including everything from accidents and falls to chronic illness. That’s normal—and so is worrying about your health and health care, the status of which can change quickly and dramatically over the course of your retirement years.

Failing Memory

Because the prospect of cognitive decline can be as worrisome as the prospect of physical decline, memory care—including dementia care and Alzheimer’s care—is top of mind for many seniors.

Loss of Independence

You spent your youth learning how to be independent. In that way, adulthood was a destination; once you arrived, you never imagined you’d have to go back. It’s no wonder, then, that the idea of losing one’s autonomy can be just as upsetting as the idea of losing one’s faculties.

Becoming A Burden

From your spouse and children to your aging parents and grandparents, you’ve devoted your life to caring for others. Now, you’re facing the prospect that others might have to care for you. But what if there’s no one to do it? Or worse yet, what if there is? You know from being a caretaker yourself how much time and energy it takes to care for someone who can’t care for themselves. It’s all-consuming. So while having no one to care for you is a scary proposition, the idea of asking loved ones to be responsible for you can be its own source of dread.

Social Isolation

With aging often comes loss, including the loss of spouses, family members and friends. Sometimes, loved ones are lost to death. Other times, they’re lost to circumstances—for example, you might not be as mobile as you used to be, or as energetic, which causes you to see people less often. Either way, isolation and loneliness for seniors are real possibilities and legitimate concerns. Although you should hope for the best, you should plan for the worst. A senior living community is flexible enough to accommodate both scenarios, not to mention countless possibilities in between.

Once you understand what you want life as an older adult to look like, you can begin searching for senior housing solutions that make your goals possible—not just today, but for years and decades to come.

In case the benefits of senior living communities still are not clear, consider the many services and amenities that might be available to you:

Meal Services

Although residences may have kitchenettes or even
full kitchens, many communities also offer chef-prepared meals in onsite restaurants or dining rooms. This not only frees you from the obligation of shopping and cooking, but also ensures that you have the nutrition you need to maintain your health and wellness as you age.

Housekeeping

As you get older, routine tasks like cleaning and laundry can become not only cumbersome and uncomfortable, but also dangerous. Falling on a wet floor, for example, or lugging a heavy laundry basket could lead to serious injury. A community that offers housekeeping services can therefore be a lifesaver—both figuratively and literally.

Home Maintenance

You should spend your retirement holding winning bridge hands and yoga poses, not hammers and hedge trimmers. Whether you’re used to DIY or hired help, communities that offer home maintenance services free you from the hassle, expense and safety risks of home repairs and yardwork so you can spend your time, money and energy on hobbies instead of chores.

Exercise and Fitness Programs

Because fitness keeps your body strong and your mind sharp, exercise is as important for seniors as it is for anyone else. Thanks to gyms, group fitness classes, spas and other amenities, many senior living communities make health and wellness easy and fun.

Social Events and Activities

Whatever you love —gardening, crafting, museums, shopping, theater, art, music, volunteerism—senior living communities often have social directors who dedicate themselves to creating organized opportunities for you to enjoy your favorite hobbies and interests, and to discover new ones. Plus, their very nature means communities lend themselves to impromptu social engagements like outdoor walks, card games and coffee dates. The genuine friendships that can be hard to build elsewhere are therefore easy to cultivate in senior living communities, which ensures a life that’s as rich with relationships as it is with experiences.

Transportation

Driving becomes more difficult and dangerous with age, which often limits seniors’ mobility. Because many of them offer scheduled and on-demand transportation to activities, entertainment and appointments, senior living communities make it possible for you to stay connected to the larger community—even after you decide to retire your car keys.

Medical Services

From routine needs like medication management and blood pressure monitoring to emergency services in the event of a serious accident or illness, many senior living communities offer onsite medical care that gives residents both protection and peace of mind. Many even offer memory care and 24-hour skilled nursing for seniors who need them.

Security and Supervision

Older adults may feel vulnerable to crime and other misdeeds. In communities that offer them, security services can therefore be a significant comfort. And for seniors with special needs, like those receiving Alzheimer’s care or dementia care, so can the protective supervision of staff who are attuned to their unique needs and risks.

Manageable Expenses

Although price points and cost structures vary from community to community and from region to region, many senior living communities offer flexible pricing that simplifies and solidifies seniors’ finances so they can keep their retirement plan on track. Many communities, for example, charge a base rate that’s determined by the size and type of one’s residence, which includes access to services like dining and social activities. Health care costs are billed separately, with tiered options based on different levels of care. The result is an experience that’s tailored not only to your goals and lifestyle, but also to your budget.

Make no mistake: You have a big choice in front of you. Along with your wishes for retirement and your fears about it, there are practical considerations like cost—which isn’t as straightforward as it seems. If you’re thinking about aging in place, for example, you might own your home outright, in which case you have no mortgage payment. But what happens when your roof needs to be replaced, or your basement floods? With a senior living community, on the other hand, there are rent payments to make, but they are consistent, predictable and oftentimes inclusive of meals, maintenance and other variable expenses.

Because it’s apples and oranges, making the best possible decision for your future requires more than comparing price tags—i.e., what you pay. Also, it requires comparing value—i.e., what you get. When you think about it that way, some of the blurriest aspects of retirement planning finally come into focus.

Again, mountain climbing comes to mind. In particular, a quote by legendary mountaineer John Muir, whose famous advice to humanity was to “climb the mountains and get their good tidings.” You’ve spent your life climbing; now it’s time for the tidings. If you didn’t realize it before, you know it now: Senior living communities have lots of them.

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If you’re like most Americans, you’ve spent years—decades, even—saving money for retirement. When it gets down to brass tacks, however, you haven’t really thought about how you’re going to spend that money. You may have vague notions that you need housing and health care, or that you want to be active and travel, but you’d be hard-pressed to say whether your resources will actually support your goals, or for how long.

That’s OK. Everyone has to start somewhere. And if you or a loved one is thinking about moving to a senior living community, understanding what the costs are and how they’re structured is as good a place to start as any.

Before you start crunching numbers, there are a few things you should understand.

• Costs need context. When you begin assessing the costs of senior housing, it’s normal to feel something akin to sticker shock. But big numbers are rarely as large as they initially seem. When you consider what expenses they encompass and over what period of time, and compare that to the equivalent cost of living outside of senior housing, you’ll often determine that the price tag is more affordable than it appeared on first glance.

• Senior living is not one-size-fits-all. If you browse the web, talk to friends and family members who have firsthand experience, or commence discussions with specific communities, you might blush at the numbers. But it’s important to keep in mind that those are not your numbers. The truth is, senior living communities boast a wide variety of options at a wide variety of price points in order to appeal to as many potential residents as possible. Before you commit to living in a senior living community—or rule the prospect out—it’s important to examine your unique needs and resources. Then and only then can you paint a complete financial picture.

• Communities can help you navigate your options. Senior living communities have specialized staff and software that can help you assess the affordability of senior housing based on your age, assets and monthly income from Social Security, pensions, investments and other resources. If there is a divide between your resources and your goals, they might be able to draw on their daily experience working with residents of diverse means to suggest avenues and ideas that can help you bridge any gaps.

It’s right to be thinking about the cost of senior living communities. Before you rush to judgment, however, use this guide to get a general sense of what expenses you might encounter and what services you’ll get in return. Once you’ve acquired some basic literacy about the financial aspects of senior housing, you can begin the process of determining what your situation may require and what the impact might be on your family, finances and lifestyle.

For most of your adult life, you’ve probably had a rent or mortgage payment. Although it might be called something different, you’ll have a similar housing payment when you live in a senior living community. How much that payment is and how it’s structured will vary from community to community based on factors such as community size, location and type— for example, an independent living community where residents are entirely self-sufficient, an assisted living community where residents may receive assistance with activities of daily living, a memory care community that furnishes specialized care for people with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, or a skilled nursing facility that offers 24/7 medical care.

RENTAL COMMUNITIES

In some senior living communities, like independent living communities, residents might sign traditional leases that are similar in terms and cost to those of a conventional apartment. Leases might be month-to-month or annual, and might include a security deposit and/or move-in fee that’s typically equal to one month’s rent. Sometimes, amenities and services are ad hoc. Other times, residents enter into a residence and service agreement that encompasses both rent and various onsite services for a single monthly sum. This is especially common in assisted living, memory care and skilled nursing communities. Although rental housing tends to be more affordable up front, it tends to be less predictable and can be more expensive over time since services are extra.

OWNERSHIP OR EQUITY COMMUNITIES

In an ownership- or equity-style senior living community, residents purchase their unit, pay real estate taxes on it and are responsible for its upkeep, just like a traditional home. They may pay additional homeowners association dues in exchange for certain amenities, and may have access to additional services, like assisted living, for an additional daily or monthly fee. Equity arrangements may be attractive for estate planning purposes, but provide no relief from the burdens of homeownership.

LIFE PLAN COMMUNITIES

Also known as continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs), life plan communities offer myriad levels of care on the same campus in order to accommodate seniors as they age. In exchange for long-term stability and flexibility, they typically charge a significant “entrance fee”—basically, a down payment that must be paid prior to moving in, which often is funded with proceeds from a home sale. Entrance fees can be non-repayable or repayable. The former are lower but non-refundable if a resident moves out or passes away. The latter, on the other hand, are higher but offer generous repayment in the event of a move or death, which can be attractive for estate planning purposes. Although the initial price tag may appear large, the long-term value often exceeds the short-term investment.

Whether you pay them in the form of monthly rent or upfront entrance fees, housing costs typically cover only the roof over your head. Some senior living communities fold an array of services and amenities into that cost; others charge a separate monthly service fee. Make sure you know what’s included and what isn’t in any discussion you’re having with a community! Like the fees themselves, the services they include will vary from community to community. However, they might include things like:

• Meals and dining
• Utilities
• Home maintenance and repairs
• Housekeeping
• Laundry services
• Local transportation
• Fitness facilities
• Resort-style amenities like swimming pools and putting greens
• Organized social activities and entertainment
• Nursing services in case of mild illness or injury

Often, communities offer other amenities and services that are paid out of pocket as needed—for example, dry cleaning, an onsite beauty salon, extra housekeeping services or extra meals for visitors.

Keep in mind that because of inflation and other economic variables like the cost of gas and food, monthly service fees may increase over time—typically by less than 5 percent per year. Fortunately, services often can flex with one’s budget. In many cases, for example, services can be customized to residents’ needs. A resident who prefers to cook their own meals in their residence, for example, might pay a lower service fee than a resident who desires a meal plan in the dining hall.

As they age, older adults often need increased medical assistance and services. Although it can be difficult if not impossible to predict one’s future needs, more support naturally translates into greater expense.

Some senior living communities offer residents a means to mitigate those financial risks by offering onsite health care services whose costs are built into the community’s monthly service fees, thereby allowing residents to lock in low prices for future care. This is the case, for example, in life plan communities, which typically offer multiple contract options for residents who may need health care support now or in the future. Some residents may elect to pay a higher monthly fee that promises to cover all their needs over time, regardless of what level of care they need. Other residents may elect to pay graduated monthly fees that start small but grow as their needs increase. Still others may desire a monthly fee that remains consistently low, in which case they’ll pay ad hoc for higher levels of care should they ever need them.

Some senior living communities—especially those owned by nonprofit organizations—may offer benevolence programs and subsidies for qualifying residents, who may be able to continue receiving care if health care costs deplete their assets. And most communities offer social, fitness and wellness programs that can keep residents’ future health care costs in check by keeping their bodies strong, their minds sharp and their spirits high.

As you contemplate the costs of a senior living community, it’s natural to wonder, “Wouldn’t it be cheaper to continue living in my home?” The answer might surprise you.

Here’s why: When you’re crunching the numbers for senior housing, you must consider not only what expenses you will have, but also what expenses you won’t have. Depending on what type of senior living community you select and what services it offers, you might be able to eliminate the following expenses from your monthly budget:

• Mortgage payments
• Homeowner’s insurance
• Property taxes
• Landscaping
• Cleaning services
• Car payments, auto insurance, maintenance and fuel costs
• Utilities
• Groceries
• Entertainment

That’s just the beginning. You also will eliminate spending on home maintenance and repairs—including expensive replacements of your roof, hot water heater, appliances and HVAC equipment, all of which have expiration dates. There are home modifications, too: If you age in place, you’ll eventually have to spend money making your home safe for an older adult to live in. If you move to a senior living community, however, safety upgrades like ramps and bathroom grab bars already will be installed at no expense to you. And don’t forget about health care. If you age in place, you may eventually need in-home assistance and medical services, which don’t come cheap. Seniors who do the math in order to compare what they’ll spend with what they’ll save often discover that a senior living community is just as affordable—and sometimes even more so—than aging in place.

Whether to move into a senior living community is a decision that seniors and their loved ones often make with the heart. But a decision of such import can’t be made on gut feelings alone. You also have to listen to the numbers.

That requires facts. To get them, make a list of your current resources and expenses, then speak with the sales counselors at prospective communities in order to get a complete and accurate picture of the scenarios available to you, what they’ll cost and what options exist for financing them. Finally, meet with your financial advisor in order to compare current resources and expenses with prospective needs and costs. From that, you should gain a good understanding of whether you can move into a senior living community, at which point you can finally consult your heart for an answer to the question you began with: Should you?

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Financially speaking, adulthood is all about saving for the future. Wherever you put your money—stocks and bonds, a high-interest savings account, a tax-advantaged retirement vehicle, real estate or an ill-advised shoebox under your bed—you probably put it there for a singular purpose: so that you’d have it someday when you needed it.

What you might not realize, however, is that “someday” is today. If you or a loved one is approaching retirement age, or have reached it already, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. It’s time to decide what you want your golden years to look like, and to set in motion the well-laid plans that will help you make your dreams and goals a reality. Not tomorrow. Not eventually. Not sooner or later. But now. Because if not now, when?

That’s not to say that cashing in your chips is easy. It isn’t. If you’re like most seniors, you probably feel like you don’t have enough. Saving your money makes you feel secure. Spending it makes you feel anxious. If your retirement goals involve moving to a senior living community, however, you should know that what initially looks like spending your money is actually re-investing it. Like a bank that’s loaning capital to a small business, you’re funding your future in exchange for a promising return. Only your return isn’t principal and interest; it’s health and happiness.

Not tomorrow.
Not eventually.
Not sooner or later. But Now.
Because if not now, when?

There can be financial returns, too. Although the costs often are incremental and therefore less obvious, aging in place can be deceptively expensive whereas senior living communities can be surprisingly affordable.

Especially today. Thanks to a “retirement renaissance,” senior housing has proliferated. Forget the nursing home of decades past. Today, there’s an unprecedented array of choices for seniors who want to live their best lives, regardless of their age, health status, retirement income or budget.

To find a senior living community that meets your needs without exceeding your means, you’ll need to understand the costs involved, then investigate what assets and options you have available. Here’s the good news: There are more assets and options available than you probably realize. Once you have a sense for them, what once felt extremely daunting might suddenly feel entirely doable.

No matter what kind of senior living community you want to live in—a retirement community with independent living, an assisted living community or a memory care community that offers Alzheimer’s and dementia care—the first thing you need to do is determine what it will cost you to live there.

The sales counselors at prospective communities can help you estimate your costs. Depending on the community, for example, you’ll have to pay either monthly rent or a larger entry fee that’s akin to the down payment on a house. You’ll also have to consider ongoing expenses like meals, utilities, home maintenance, housekeeping, transportation and entertainment, which communities may or may not offer in exchange for a monthly service fee. And don’t forget health care, including medical needs you have now and those you might have in the future.

Once you have a grip on how much money you’ll need to live in a senior living community, it’s a good idea to take inventory of what resources you have to help you cover the costs. This includes not only savings and income—Social Security and pensions, for example—but also assets like your home, vehicle, investments and even valuables like art, antiques, jewelry and collectibles. Some of your assets might be liquid while others might take more time and effort to convert into cash. Talking to a financial advisor can help you understand what money you have and how to best access it for purposes of funding senior housing.

Your timeline should figure prominently. Do you want to move immediately or a few years down the line? Understanding when you will need money is just as important to your calculations as understanding how much you’ll need.

If your budget reveals a shortfall between what you have and what you need, don’t fret. There are myriad ways to finance your move to a senior living community. Here are a few of the most common that you might consider.

REAL ESTATE

If you own your home, it’s probably your biggest asset. That means it might also be your easiest ticket to a senior living community.

If you have enough equity, you might consider selling your home outright, in which case you’ll basically be exchanging one home for another. In fact, proceeds from a home sale may cover all or most of the entry fee at a senior living community that charges one. And the money you’ll save on real estate taxes and future home repairs can be directed instead toward monthly service fees and various other daily living expenses.

Of course, home sales can take a while. If time is of the essence, a bridge loan might be helpful by giving you short-term capital with which to finance your move to a senior living while you wait for your home to sell; when it does, you can use the proceeds to repay the loan.

Of course, all of this assumes that you can sell your home quickly and for a fair price. If you can’t, there are other options. You might look into a reverse mortgage, for example, wherein you sell your home a little bit at a time back to the bank, which cuts you a monthly check in exchange for your returned equity. Or, if your home is in good shape and your local rental market is strong, you might consider renting your home until you’re ready to sell it. Although being a landlord can be quite onerous, a good property manager typically can do everything for you.

Insurance

If you have a life insurance policy that you no longer need, you may be able to sell it to a life settlement company in return for a lump sum that you can apply toward your entry fee at a senior living community or other senior housing costs. Although the company won’t purchase it for the policy’s full value, you typically can get more money than you otherwise would if you were to simply surrender the policy or allow it to lapse. Before you go this route, however, you should be certain that you want to give up your life insurance—you may not be able to qualify for a new policy if you decide later that you want one—and should be prepared to shop your policy around to different companies to ensure you’re getting a fair price.

Before you sell your life insurance, there are other options to consider. You should check with your insurer, for example, to find out whether you can borrow against your policy. If you’re ill, you might also be eligible for accelerated death benefits that cover the costs of a longterm, catastrophic or terminal illness while you’re still alive.

If you have long-term care insurance, that might also come into play. Depending on both the policy and your health status, you may be able to access benefits to help you pay for the cost of an assisted living, memory care or skilled nursing community.

Veterans Benefits

If you or your spouse is a veteran who served in active duty during wartime, you may be able to receive a federal benefit known as the Veterans Aid & Attendance benefit. Provided above and beyond a veteran’s regular pension, it can be used to cover your care in an assisted living, memory care or skilled nursing community.

You may be eligible for this benefit if you receive a VA pension and meet at least one of these requirements:

• You need another person to help you perform daily activities like bathing, feeding and dressing, or
• You have to stay in bed or spend a large portion of the day in bed due to illness, or
• You’re a patient in a nursing home due to the loss of mental or physical abilities related to a disability, or
• Your eyesight is limited, even with glasses or contact lenses

If you are a veteran or the surviving spouse of a vet, it’s well worth your time to explore this option as a potential supplement to your other benefits and resources.

By now you can see that there are numerous financial paths one can follow to put life in a senior living community within reach. But you and your bank account probably still have some questions. That’s normal. Although you should discuss any lingering concerns with your financial advisor and with the sales counselors at communities you’re considering, here are a few of seniors’ most common queries.

Will Medicare pay for a senior living community?

Unfortunately, Medicare does not cover most costs associated with living in a senior living community. One exception is skilled nursing: Medicare will pay 100 percent of the cost of care up to 20 days at a skilled nursing facility and approximately 80 percent of the cost up to 80 more days. However, that care must be for recovery following an inpatient hospital stay.

Medicare doesn’t cover room and board or custodial (personal) care costs in assisted living communities, although some Medicare Advantage plans may pay for personal care assistance in assisted living or memory care (but not room and board).

Medicare also will pay for “medically necessary” care outside of a hospital, which means some medical services that may be offered at an assisted living or memory care community—physical or occupational therapy, for example, or diagnostic testing. That won’t eliminate all your senior housing expenses, but it might make a dent in them if you need a certain level of care.

What about Medicaid?

Although Medicare won’t pay for a senior living community, Medicaid might. Like Medicare, Medicaid in some states will pay for medically necessary care outside of a hospital setting, including some medical services that might be available at an assisted living or memory care community. In the case of memory care, Medicaid might also cover the larger costs of living in a community—provided that community has a Medicaid contract. Of course, you must be eligible for Medicaid in the first place, which means you must have a very low income and few assets.

I have the money now. But what if I run out of money later?

Policies vary from community to community and from circumstance to circumstance. Some communities are structured like apartment rentals, in which case nonpayment of rent will be a breach of your lease that leads to eviction. Other communities—including many life care communities—offer contracts that guarantee lifetime residence; as long as you pay your entry fee, you’ll have a home there for life. Some senior living communities also offer benevolence programs and subsidies for qualifying residents, who may be able to continue receiving care if health care costs deplete their assets. Because communities vary, it’s important to ask what a community’s policies are before you sign a contract or lease.

How will senior housing affect my taxes?

You can’t talk money without talking taxes. Fortunately, moving to a senior living community might actually help your tax bill. That’s because residents of some communities may qualify for a substantial tax deduction. Specifically, residents of life care communities or other “entry fee retirement communities,” who may be able to deduct a portion of their entry fee as well as a portion of their monthly service fees—provided those fees qualify as a prepaid health care expense. Whether they do will depend on what type of contract you sign with a community. If you sign a life care contract, for example—which provides for your changing health care needs as you age—you almost certainly qualify for a tax break. If you sign a modified life care contract that provides for some but not all medical needs, you might still qualify for some deductions. And if you sign a fee-for-service contract, your deductions will be minimal.

Will I still be able to leave an inheritance for my loved ones?

If you move to a community that charges an entrance fee, that fee may be refundable up to a certain amount in the event of your death. A refundable entrance fee is typically higher than a non-refundable one, but may provide reassurance for residents who wish to leave something behind for their loved ones.

At first glance, the cost of senior housing can feel overwhelming. Like every investment you’ve ever made, however—your first home when it was time to start a family, the new car you couldn’t wait to drive, the dream vacation you’ll always remember—the price tag on a senior living community tells only part of the story. Just as important as the cost is the benefit. Because you’re not just spending money. You’re getting something in return. And what you’re getting isn’t merely a place to live. It’s health and happiness. It’s independence and autonomy. It’s safety and security. It’s community and comfort. More than anything, though, it’s a future. And isn’t that what you’ve been saving for all along?

When you take a thorough look at the resources you have and the life you’ll be able to live, you might realize that a senior living community is more attractive, attainable and affordable than you imagined.

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