If you\u2019re thinking about moving to a senior living community, you\u2019re probably waiting for \u201cthe right time\u201d to broach the subject with your adult children and other family members. Unfortunately, rarely is there ever an ideal time to have a difficult chat. Instead of waiting for a conversational door to magically appear, a better approach is to build the door yourself. And that takes planning. Here are four things you should do to prepare:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you tell your family that you want to move into a senior living community, what they might hear from you is, \u201cI\u2019m ready to go to a nursing home.\u201d But senior living communities aren\u2019t nursing homes. Senior housing today encompasses a diverse menu of safe, comfortable and dignified choices that allow seniors to live as independently as they want to, with as much\u2014or as little\u2014assistance as they need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before you discuss senior living with your family, it\u2019s a good idea to make sure you understand what those choices are so that you can explain to your loved ones what your plan entails and how it will help you achieve the medical, emotional, social and\/or financial goals that you have set for yourself. In particular, you\u2019ll want to understand the difference between the different types of communities – from independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing, life plan communities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if you do a good job explaining what modern senior living communities look like, your family members might have a hard time seeing past negative stereotypes and emotional assumptions. For that reason, it\u2019s important that you be able to express not only where you want to spend your golden years, but also why you want to spend them there. Here are a few of the most common reasons that seniors give for moving into a senior living community. Before you speak to your family, think about which ones resonate most with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When it comes to something as sensitive as aging, it may feel most natural to speak from the heart. And you should, because sincerity is important. It\u2019s also important, however, to be prepared, organized and cogent. If you leave your remarks to chance, you might forget to say something important, and could end up meandering in ways that make your decision appear hasty and ill-conceived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To come off as both authentic and informed, prepare a loose agenda or outline prior to speaking with your family members\u2014something that you can consult as you talk, but which you won\u2019t read verbatim. Because talks about senior housing can be extremely emotional and stressful, writing down the things you want to say and the points you want to make can ensure that conversations are focused, rational and productive, but also genuine and heartfelt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember that conversation is by nature a two-way street. While it\u2019s important to prepare what you want to say, it\u2019s just as critical that you be ready to hear your family members\u2019 response. They\u2019ll have feelings to share, but also questions to ask. Lots and lots of questions. If you already have a senior living community in mind, for example, they might want to know the size and setup of the residences, what the monthly rent will be, whether meals are provided, what other services are and aren\u2019t included, and whether Medicare or Medicaid will help with the costs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As much as you can, try to anticipate what questions they will have, and to prepare answers to demonstrate that you\u2019ve done your homework.<\/p>\n\n\n\n